FicWad

Chapter Two

RATING: NC-17
WARNINGS: Slightly AU and there may be some bad language and innuendo.
SPOILERS: This is is a Sixth Year story so spoilers for the previous five years may be contained herein.
Author's Note: Typos and tenses corrected.

Harry woke up thinking something was off in some way. He had woken up from being stunned often enough to realize it was making him groggy and unable to think clearly. ‘Okay Potter,’ he said to himself. ‘Before you open your eyes you’d better figure this out.’ He could feel he was in the school infirmary. He’d woken up in this bed often enough to recognize the feel of the sheets and the weird feel of the conjured pajamas Madame Pomfrey gives everyone who stays overnight. Listening he heard Ron eating off to one side of his bed and Hermione humming a Brandenburg concerto as she read. There was nothing unusual about any of this so far. He often woke up in the infirmary and great friends that they were Ron and Hermione were often sitting to either side of his bed when he did. Well one thing was off here, Ron’s been chewing for at least a few minutes and Hermione hasn’t said …

Just then his train of thought was interrupted by Hermione’s voice, “Ronald, those are for Harry. You’re not the one in the hospital bed so you shouldn’t be eating the chocolate.”

‘Ah that's alright then,’ Harry thought.

Ron replied, “Harry never never eats these. Besides there is far too much here. He’d be glad for my help.”

He smiled as he heard her reply, “Maybe he never eats those because they are always gone by the time he wakes up.” She sighed, “Well at least try to leave a few for when he wakes up.”

He was about to open his eyes when he heard, “Potter, why is there a brass plate with your name on the headboard? You can’t be in here that often can you? I always thought at least half of those were scams to hide you doing prep work for the usual May or June adventure.”

Harry fumbled for his wand and did a reflexive mouth freshening charm. Experience had taught him that his breath was never good after waking up here. Then he opened his eyes and said “Daphne?”

“Do you wake up with blondes that often that you have to ask and is your eyesight really that bad that you can’t recognize somebody you’ve seen almost daily for six years?”

“Yes I can, yes I do, and yes it is,” Harry replied. He held up his wand and smirked, “May I offer you a mouth freshening charm?”

She rolled her eyes then blushed faintly. She started to lift her right arm and Harry got his first good look at it since the accident. His left hand and her right are merged somehow into a weird irregular mass of flesh with fingers sticking out at odd angles. He felt a bit queasy looking at it but was distracted when Daphne put her left hand over her mouth and he could feel her cast a spell. “Better?” she asked.

“I’m impressed. It was wandless as well as silent,” Harry said. “Spearmint variation too. Nice, Who taught you that one?”

Daphne just smirked in reply but Hermione said, “She created it herself Harry. As part of an Arithmancy extra credit project last year. The challenge was to create a spell involving the sense of smell in some way.”

Daphne turned to her, “Are you his personal researcher or something?”

“Oi!” Ron said. “No picking on Hermione allowed.”

Harry nodded, “If she didn’t help us out second year I would not have known the creature from the chamber of secrets was a basilisk and none of us would be here because they would have closed the school. Not to mention all the times her answers have saved my life.”

“Alright, I apologize,” Daphne said. “I wasn’t picking on her anyway. Just annoyed that she told you.”

Once he had his glasses on Harry noticed that there seemed to be two Tracy Davises and the further one wore a Gryffindor uniform. "Why are there two of Tracy?"

"Stupid wizard flu seems to be stretching out Polyjuice duration as well," said the farther Tracy. "I'm Neville and you have to promise never to tell Dean or Seamus! They'd never let me live it down."

"I already promised," said Ron.

Harry said, "Of course mate. You're my friend whatever your shape."

"Thanks Harry," Neville said. "That's a load off my mind."

"Aren't you going to ask me?" said Daphne. "Or Tracy for that matter?"

"No offense meant but I'm sure they'd both believe me over you since you are both in Slytherin and I know Hermione, who you've not asked about, is too nice to do anything like that."

Hermione smiled as the other two girls looked disgruntled, "Why thank you Neville."

There were all quiet a moment then Harry said, “Hermione does this mean that the spell you gave me last year was something you made? I bet it does. Wow, and you told me you found it in the library! If I’d known you created it I would have been much more impressed.”

Hermione flushed in pleasure. Ron’s smile vanished. Daphne traded a look with Tracy and Harry was oblivious to all of it.

“I was worried you wouldn’t trust it if you thought I’d created it myself,” she said.

“Are you kidding? I probably would have trusted it more,” Harry said.

Ron frowned at the candy in his hand and put it back unwrapped , “Oi you two! Enough with the mutual admiration society. Of course it bloody worked, if Hermione made it.”

“Language Ron,” Hermione snapped. “Do you have to curse to pay someone a compliment? Harry paid me a nice compliment and didn’t curse once.”

“Well we can’t all be Harry Potter can we?” Ron snapped back at her.

“If anyone wants my life they can have it,” Harry said.

Ron looked like he was about to say 'I do' then he sighed and closed his mouth, “Sorry Harry. I didn’t mean that.”

Hermione said, “I’m sorry too. I shouldn’t have snapped at you Ron. You were trying to be nice.”

“Okay, now that the drama has finished, can I ask a question?” Daphne said. “Why did you need a spell to remove all scent from a person? Was there a lot of body odor in the tower that term?”

Tracy giggled, “Actually considering what those twins were doing last year that might actually be a good guess.”

It had actually been to help make them even less noticeable under the invisibility cloak along with the spell she’d found for silencing footsteps but he wasn’t going to say that so he just grinned and told Tracy she was right. It might have worked but Daphne had seen the three of them trade too many glances back and forth before he said it.

Daphne shook her head, “I don’t buy that Potter but if you don’t want to say I won’t push. If I really want to know there are ways to make a boy talk and I know all of them even if I don’t use them.”

Harry thought of asking her what she had that Fleur didn’t but decided it would be more fun to let her try then shut her down. A small part of his mind added that it might be much more fun to let her succeed.

Daphne was looking at him like she’d guessed what he was thinking. He looked back with his most innocent expression and she snorted. “One thing I hope you’ll tell me is why you never took Arithmancy or Ancient Runes?”

"Never got any career or course selection help until last term," Harry said. "I picked more or less at random. It was one of those times I should have listened to Hermione but didn't." He shrugged, "Bit late now. If I need a spell created I'll just ask Hermione. She's never let me down yet."

Daphne rolled her eyes, "Goddess, I'd tell you to get a room except for two things."

"What two things?" Ron said through a mouthful of licorice.

"Either speak or eat Ron!" Hermione said without looking up. "Never do both."

"Wise words but I'll answer Ron anyway," Daphne said. "One is that until they fix this I'm going everywhere Potter does, and two it's obvious she has the hots for you, although Hecate herself is probably wondering why."

Hermione blushed a bright red, "There's no need for wild accusations Daphne. If you want to date Harry just ask him. He's a captive audience at the moment."

Daphne glared but before she could say anything Tracy gave a piercing whistle, "Alright, both of you to a neutral corner. I remember the last time you two had a snipe fest and it lasted three weeks before you decided that nobody won. I don't want to see that again. If only because my head still hurts from figuring out some of the insults. Let's see if maybe we can keep ourselves under control shall we?"

"An excellent idea Miss Davis," said Madam Pomfrey. "Miss Granger, if you cannot refrain from upsetting my patients I shall ask you to leave."

"Yes, Madame Pomfrey," Hermione replied.

"And Miss Greengrass," Madame Pomfrey continued. "I know that to you sarcasm is as necessary as air but before you get her too upset you might wish to speak to Miss Edgecombe. She still regrets doing so."

"Wait a minute," Daphne said. "She's still marked Sneak?" When the nurse nodded she whistled, "Okay, I'm impressed. How'd you do it Granger?"

Hermione just smirked, "Me? No one ever proved I did anything."

Harry said, "Before we continue this fascinating and entirely theoretical line of thought I'd like to know what caused this." He pointed to their joined hands, "and how soon we can reverse it."

"Well it was caused by some kind of potion interaction," the nurse said. "But as for the cure I've had to turn the case over to St. Mungo's medical research division. They are doing an alchemical analysis of the blood of all four of you and the stuff coating you when you came in. They should be back at this time tomorrow to give you at least the preliminary results. You and Miss Greengrass will be stuck together for at least another twenty four hours and Mr. Longbottom will be stuck looking like Miss Davis until then as well unless it dissipates on its own."

"Great," Daphne said. "Just great. Well no use trying to hold it in now." Daphne tossed the blanket back, "Come on Potter, I've got to pee."

Harry promptly fainted. Daphne frowned, then shrugged, "I guess that will work too." She grabbed her wand and levitated him along as she walked ignoring the giggling behind her with massive and aloof dignity.