You can love someone and still not be in love with them. But how to tell them? Crono vents his frustrations to Glenn. Shounen ai.
I'm... really getting just a bit sick of her.
Crono smiled awkwardly as Marle bounced around, pointing out things to him and talking non-stop in that manner that always left him mute.
Does she do that on purpose? I mean, I'm aware she has breasts. And doesn't all that bouncing hurt?
He caught himself before he could sigh under his breath. Although anything he could try to say seemed to get immediately stifled, a small, indiscreet sigh would always bring attention. Of the wrong sort, naturally. He didn't hate Marle, or even dislike her. She was a good friend. Just... very clingy.
And... I get the distinct feeling she's declared herself my girlfriend without consulting me or even notifying me! Everyone thinks we're a couple...
It must have been his death that did it to her. She was always enthusiastic, always hanging on a bit and always flirtatious, but... It seemed that, after losing him once, she wasn't about to do so a second time. She was holding onto him very firmly and had been doing so for long enough to make Crono crack.
How do I tell her to back off without her taking it the wrong way?
He didn't think there was a right way. He had been counting on her calming down a bit with time, but her grip was tight as ever.
Feeling himself start to lose the ability to rein in his annoyance, Crono made an excuse and hastily left. Marle would be mad but... not as mad as if she had heard Crono's thoughts for the past half hour.
Closing the door to his inn room, he leaned against it as if to barricade it. He let himself slide down it and sighed.
"Be something the matter, young Crono?"
Crono looked up suddenly, surprised. He had not noticed Glenn was in the room when he entered.
"No, I'm just..." Finally having a chance to say something, he couldn't find anything to say.
"Hm. Does our imminent departure trouble thee?" Glenn tilted his head curiously from his seat on the bed. He was sorting some items, apparently packing in preparation for that departure. From his seat on the floor, Crono was looking up to him, which was odd, but not half as odd as Glenn's appearance as a young, rustic-looking man. Even if they were both standing, Glenn would be taller, a point which unnerved Crono slightly. Not because of the height itself, of course, but because Crono would find himself talking to Glenn's crotch until he remembered to look up.
"Um... yeah." He might as well grasp onto the excuse Glenn had given him. Besides, without the others he and Marle would have even more quality time, and that idea certainly troubled him.
Crono finally pulled himself up and flopped onto the other side of the bed, legs hanging off and his arms behind his head.
"It is kind of hard to know I'll never see any of you again... if you lived on the other side of the world, that'd be one thing, but..."
Glenn grunted in agreement. "Thou hast become dear during this time. But we each hold our own responsibilities and destinies--perhaps we should be grateful that they have met, as it is."
Well, that's true, but I still don't like it...
He said as much. Glenn obviously felt the same way; for a while the room was silent except for the clinking of items.
Crono closed his eyes tightly. "Of course, that's not the only thing that's bothering me..."
"Hm? What else?"
"All right..." Crono had just been waiting for that encouragement. He rolled onto his belly and wagged a finger at Glenn. "This is strictly to be taken in confidence, though! Man to man, it doesn't leave this room, all right?"
Glenn hesitated, but agreed. What followed was a long barrage of hemming and hawing, hesitant admissions and a whole lot of complaining.
"Er..." Glenn stumbled, trying to recover from the completely unexpected onslaught.
"It's not as if I don't love her!" At that Crono sat up on the bed and waved his fists at the sky. "I just want a little space! She's not going to understand, though, oh no! If we're not breathing the same air...!"
After a moment he lowered his arms, embarrassed.
"Aye..." Glenn had long ago put away his items, slightly worried that Crono would break something in one of his sudden excitable moments. It was obvious this had been building for a long time.
"I regret I hast not noticed..." Glenn shook his head. "That is, I be fully aware of lady Marle's actions, I was not aware of how it hast troubled thee."
"Eh, well, I've been trying not to show it." Crono stood up and allowed himself to pace a little in his distraction.
"Hmm. Perhaps if another confronted her, she wouldst not be so quick to anger...?"
"No, she'd just get mad at that person and not realize it's what I think." He stopped pacing. "I'm in this on my own, aren't I? Dammit..."
Glenn caught hold of Crono's wrist and hauled him into a sitting position next to himself, glad for the opportunity to stop Crono's pacing.
"Let us approach this calmly. Dost thou entertain intentions of a relationship with her?"
Crono cast his eyes away. But he was aware, out of the side of his vision, that Glenn's moss green eyes were still firmly on him.
"She calls me a pig!" He said to defend himself, "It's not funny, it's not joking, it's her looking down at me! Where was she when I was being executed? Showed up a little late, didn't she? Makes me wait on her! Drags me everywhere!"
He stopped, a little deflated.
"In other words, no." Glenn said gently.
"Everyone thinks we're a couple." He propped himself up on his knees, annoyed by that assumption more than anything.
"I didst not think so."
Crono raised a questioning eyebrow at him. He just shrugged.
"I do not make assumptions. Besides, 'tis your business, not mine."
"Interesting philosophy, that." There was a touch of sarcasm in it. But Glenn just shrugged and allowed the silence to remind Crono that the person he was mad at was not there.
"Since thou never expect to be with her, the gentlemanly thing is to tell her, rather than to lead her on."
"That's a good excuse," said Crono dryly. "Don't think she'll buy it, though."
"I said it earnestly."
"I know you did but..." He sighed. "I'm sorry, I just don't think this will turn out well, no matter what I do."
"Thou can only be honest and hope for the best."
He was wet. Goshdurnit. He really ought to swear right now, but somehow he felt too tired. A pathetic, mumbled half-swear was the most he could manage.
He slammed the door on his way in, though, and made a bee-line for the towel rack.
"...It didst not go well?" Glenn ventured.
"She poured soda on me!"
Glenn sniffed. "That dost not smell of soda..."
"Don't you ever leave this room?" Crono threw the towel on the floor, smelling... wheaty.
"Did thou drink any of that?" Glenn was looking disapprovingly at the towel.
"I... might have had a little." Crono flopped onto the bed. "I thought, hey, if there's a night to start drinking...."
Glenn grunted at that, but made no other comment.
"What, don't tell me you've never drunk?"
"Those who wish to be knights should abstain from liquor. At any moment, their pledge to uphold and defend might be invoked."
Crono opened his mouth to say something bad. Something about, hey, you're the last person I'd think would avoid the stuff. Didn't you need it, this past decade?
Instead he opened and closed his mouth for a while before coming up with an apology.
Glenn accepted it with his usual grace. "Thou dost not seem drunk. Think nothing of it. As for her highness..."
Crono growled something, and Glenn took the hint, cutting off his sentence short. But the train of thought remained.
"Thou dost not aspire to wed another, dost thou?"
Crono nearly choked. "No! I mean... Sure, there are people I've been interested in. But they're always taken or something. Besides, I'm... way, I mean way too young to marry anybody."
"Truly? I believe I was younger than thou when I first fell in love..."
"You were?" Crono grinned widely. "Details?"
It was Glenn's turn to choke. "Noooo.... I think not."
"It just be... personal." Glenn edged away from Crono's eager expression. Crono debated pushing it, but once again thought better of it.
"Well, it's good to know you've got balls, buddy." Crono slapped him on the back.
Glenn's sweatdrop was of such mass that the extra weight nearly knocked him over. "P... Pardon?"
"Er..." He was awfully bad with words today. "I just mean... sometimes it's hard to tell what's going on with you behind all that language."
"'Tis merely polite. It... dost not mean that I do not feel as others do, merely that I voice it differently."
"Er, sorry again..." Crono half-smiled. "But, you know, you can talk about it with me..."
Glenn narrowed his eyes at Crono's expression. "Thou wouldst not approve."
"Sure I would! You're a good guy, I know that, I couldn't think worse of y... I mean, nothing could make me think bad of you!"
"It was..." Glenn took a deep breath. "Inappropriate."
"Oh, I'm sure it's not as bad as you think."
"Bet it ain't!"
"Thou really just wish to talk about anything but her highn..." Glenn halted at Crono's expression change. He was a bit too right, there.
"I simply do not wish to speak of it." Glenn said very softly.
I bet it's Leene...
"Well, that's fine but..."
It's always been obvious that you liked her. I don't know who you think you're fooling.
"But since you've probably never told anyone, won't you feel good getting it off your chest? I promise I'm not going to judge you, but this is the last chance you're going to get to tell me."
Glenn examined his boots. Crono let him consider, anticipation killing him.
Glenn took a deep breath.
It took every ounce of Crono's heavyweight will to keep him from shouting "WHAT?!" so loud Glenn left the room on the speed of sound.
"That's..." Completely unexpected. "That's not bad..."
Glenn finally looked up. He obviously knew Crono was humoring him.
"It's not! Look, you cared about him a lot, you loved him, so... yeah, there's nothing wrong with that."
Glenn's gaze returned to his laces. "Thou art a good friend, Crono."
"I mean it. I know you, Frog, you're not the kind of guy who'd ever do anything immoral. And if you did, you'd be forgiven for all the other stuff!"
Glenn chuckled slightly. "Aye, aye..." He silenced himself for a moment.
"Thou were right. 'Twas good to hear that."
"Meant every word of it." And he did. Granted, in the back of his mind a tiny Crono was still running around in confusion and bumping into things, but that didn't matter. Whatever else he was, Glenn was a good person.
Although... I'm slightly more nervous about the sitting on the same bed as him thing, and the accidentally staring at his crotch thing.
Crono gulped. He couldn't move away, of course, that would be an insult.
"Uh, Glenn, just one thing?"
"Just... tell me you've never been attracted to me, 'k?"
"Well..." Glenn considered the wording. "That 'twouldst not be exactly truthful..."
Crono fell flat on the floor. After a moment, he said,
"I think I'll just stay down here for a bit."
"Understood." Glenn seemed a bit bemused.
Well, one thing you do hafta love about guys--they don't take everything as an insult.
Crono breathed dust for a while.
Although, actually, that's really just Marle... and just lately...
Crono finally pushed himself up onto his hands and settled into a cross-legged position on the floor, leaning back on his hands.
"Sorry yet again," He sighed. "I just never considered it."
"Well, a guy and a guy... well..." Crono tried it a few more times. "...I don't know."
Glenn raised an eyebrow at him.
"Thou hast never considered the possibility that I or anyone thou knowest or... for that matter... thou might be so?"
"Er... well, they say you get your idea of a mate from your parents, and I only had one and she's a chick, so..."
"Hm. Well, when I meant 'twas inappropriate, I did not mean for such reasons." said Glenn, "'Twas a matter of our being entrusted with certain missions and the attraction being a distraction."
"Attractions usually are." Crono was the one studying his laces now, as he kicked his toes together.
"Perhaps things have changed over the last four hundred years?"
"No, they're... pretty much the same on that account, I think. It's just never been anyone I know..." He reconsidered. "Or maybe it has. I've never really asked."
This line of questioning was making him uncomfortable. "Um, can we talk about something else?"
"All right. Shall I turn the tables on thee?"
"Thou hast heard mine confession, what be thine?"
"Oh, just... I dunno. Most recent was when I met Ayla and she pretty much tackled me." He grinned. "She was forward and... bouncy." He sighed. "Actually, that reminds me of Marle with a speech impediment. I don't think we'd ever have made a couple, 'sides, she's taken."
Glenn nodded. Crono was trying very hard not to take Glenn's looking at him personally.
When you talk to people, they look at you. It's a fact. And nothing's changed, that's the way he always looks at me when I'm talking to him... although, granted, he was always gay.
Crono sweatdropped at himself, sparking an inquiry from Glenn.
"Y'know... now that I think of it, it's pretty odd I never thought of it. Do you have any troubles, being gay?"
"Er, that's what it's called."
"Must be a new term. In mine own time, 'tis considered common and beneath mention."
"Really?" That was hard to believe. Yet Glenn nodded.
Crono turned back to his shoes, his eyebrows knitting at the idea.
Not worth even mentioning? Huh....
He supposed... he'd never heard anyone talked down for it. He'd been to many times, and he hadn't seen any social restrictions on the matter in any of them.
Well, it's not as if I was looking for them...
But Glenn might have been. He asked, and the answer confirmed it. Glenn was sure to notice that sort of thing more than Crono did, but he had noticed nothing.
Crono smiled softly, mumbling to himself. "Heh... I'm all alone in this, am I?"
"I just..." Crono looked back up at Glenn again. "I just feel like an idiot, that's all."
"'Twas meant as a command. As a friend, I shall not allow thou to berate thineself before me."
"But how could I have overlooked..." Crono gave up on it.
"'Tis a part of being young. The world contains many things unconsidered."
Crono slid him a look. "Yet you had this all figured out by my age?"
"Well, we matured faster, back then." Glenn grinned.
"Daah! Don't make it sound like you're that much older than me!" Crono lifted himself up and dropped himself into a seat on the bed. He'd just have to figure it out and move on before he made a further fool of himself, then.
He gave it thought. Men. Men. Men as... ahem.
Goddammit, what sort of prude am I?
At least he was able to swear again. All right, let's take a look at Glenn. Is he attractive? Well, certainly girls found him attractive. Lucca had nearly had a coronary when she saw him. But did he find Glenn attractive?
Glenn looked... absurdly Glenn-like. He was all dolled up in Glenn-ness.
Even as a non-amphibian, Glenn held a look about him that attested to a certain woodsyness. Maybe it was just in the color of his hair... no, it wasn't. Perhaps it was the medieval clothes? Probably not. It seemed more like an inherent thing, the sort of essence that could only be obtained by actual time outdoors.
He even still smells like .... moss or... grass or... dark earthy... stuff...
...This isn't getting me anywhere is it?
Crono growled to himself in frustration.
"What on earth art thou doing?"
"I'm trying to figure this out." Crono was getting more and more annoyed with the whole thing. Shouldn't it be simple?
"Figure it out?" Glenn sweatdropped. "Canst thou just like whom thou like?"
"No, I have to know. Frog, kiss me."
It was Glenn's turn to pick himself off the floor. "What?"
"That's the simplest way to know, right? You kiss me, I like it or don't like it, question solved!"
"Crono..." Glenn stood, dusting himself off. "I do not kiss for reasons such as those!"
"Aw, come on, be a buddy, be a pal!"
"The young be so impetuous..."
"Don't start with that 'young' stuff!" Crono's patience was short, by this time. "Just kiss me! Quick, before I get embarrassed again!"
Glenn sighed a heavy sigh. After making Crono wait far too long for his liking, he agreed.
"I humour thee far too much..."
"Enough, I know, I owe you, now pucker up."
The kiss was light. That wasn't unexpected; Glenn had the look of one who would not french before marriage. But, though the sensitive pressing of lips was the point, Crono was more taken by the closeness of Glenn's face. He was staring right into Glenn's closed eyelids. Glenn's sigh was on him. Glenn was, suddenly, the center of a world fringed with close green locks.
He held the moment, absorbing it. Glenn's lashes flickered, and his eyelids lifted. He stared deeply, the radiating lines of his cornea drawing him into their black center.
Every pretty line about eyes that he'd ever heard flashed through his head.
On some mutual consent, both broke away. Glenn was blushing; Crono was just staring off into space a little wistfully.
I think that just made things more/ complicated./
"Well?" said Glenn, some irritation showing in his voice. "Dost thou have thy answer?"
"I'm sorry, Glenn, but..." He grinned. "I wasn't paying attention. Could you do that again?"