Review for Loss of Huamnity
Loss of Huamnity
(#) ReaperRain 2007-07-28 01:30:53 PM
Hm, it was pretty good, but there were a few typos here and there, such as:
'That is a question to ask the dear profession Crescent of yours'
'blood blossoming on blue and white i>I'm bleeding'
Plus, the bits where you had long paragraphs of inner thought were pretty good, really showed the confusion and even insanity - but they were also kinda difficult to read. Consider splitting them up with different font variations (like bold and italics - you did it a bit, but not enough, I felt) or dashes to make them easier on the eye. But overall, excellent; I'd like to see more of this.
'That is a question to ask the dear profession Crescent of yours'
'blood blossoming on blue and white i>I'm bleeding'
Plus, the bits where you had long paragraphs of inner thought were pretty good, really showed the confusion and even insanity - but they were also kinda difficult to read. Consider splitting them up with different font variations (like bold and italics - you did it a bit, but not enough, I felt) or dashes to make them easier on the eye. But overall, excellent; I'd like to see more of this.
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