(#) Roo 2007-09-11
... okay. I read the entire story, and...
...I'm just so disappointed. As I said in my review for the first chapter, you have a solid writing style, interesting ideas and a good grasp on dialogue.
This could have been an interesting alternate take on the epilogue, and with interesting commentaries on the wizarding world and inter-species relationships (there are certainly some hints of it here), but it all drowns in the fact that this story feels basically like a big hate-letter to Dumbledore, Ginny and Ron (and to a lesser extent, Percy).
The "bonding" thing makes absolutely no sense, and seems to be done purely to paint those three characters in a bad light.
Harry isn't even remotely IC, and seems to be not so much a character as an "author's mouthpiece," a role that is shared (though less obviously so) by Hermione and Luna... with the result that this is one of the few stories I've ever read where I actually dislike Luna (usually one of my favorite characters). All three characters come across as colossal selfish jerks, and none of the other characters ever call them on it because apparently they're "right."
As for "concubines" -- servile concubinage went out with the Romans in Britain. I know the wizarding world is old-fashioned and backwards in many ways, but I really don't believe that it would, in the 1990s, condone the kind of bonding you describe here as legal or even morally acceptable. Hell, I'm the first to admit that the wizarding world of the books is bigoted, unfair and rotten to the core, but even I think this is a huge stretch. In trying to "fix" things you have created a situation, and characters, that are ten times as despicable.
No matter what I might have thought about the actual epilogue, this was not an improvement.
I honestly think you're a better writer than this.