i like your story,but occasionally you get all caught up with EXACTLY what is going on that i get the feeling you forgot what you were going to write in the first place(see.those of us who speak english only have problems with grammar.so don't feel bad)
have you read stephen king?he's written some very good books.occasionally,he seems to get lost in the story,or just drawing out explanations or conversations.i've spoken with many people who don't like his books for that reason.
sorry for the criticism.even though it is a major one,i want to remind you the story is good.i didn't care for the looong conversation between hp and rookwood much.the phoenix/phoenix's have my interest,as the the book.
what i really like is the snake,and holier than thou dumbledore and the flaming peacock society.
god bless and good luck