As of this writing, it still seems to cut off, this time at the end of a word, but not the thought it's part of.
What I've read is an excellent prologue for what you've got set up and while you've taken a few liberties with Imzadi, not that many (nowhere near the liberties the various ST script writers took with other aspects of the shows' backgrounds) and it's plausible. It does make Ginny and Molly's behavior that much more reprehensible, though.
Author's response
I suggest looking it up on FFdotNet. there is a link to my profile there in my profile here. the second half is the better half, and has many important details, and my two favorite scenes aside from the post-Final Battle internal monologue.
as for Imzadi, my initial definition came from a half remembered reading of the book /Imzadi/. I only ever remember the word being used in Encounter at Farpoint and again by Thomas Riker in the first episode he appears in.