Review for Hamsters in a Cage
(#) Still_Anonymous 2008-01-03 09:08:01 PM
I did have a little trouble understanding exactly what was going on when Shredder encountered the difference. It was a little too much in the rodent world for me to easily visualize.
I also noticed that you started a large proportion of sentences with the word "she." This can be a quite unwieldy when read aloud and is not normally considered good prose. On the other hand, I have seen best-selling authors do this, so I wouldn't worry about it too much. :)
Anyway, I really did enjoy the story. You have renewed my hope that I might, occasionally, keep from clicking away completely disgusted when I'm in the original fiction section.
Frank asks a question, and gets one hell of an answer. Little plot. Frerard SMUT MUTHER FUCKERS!
- Authors: 600678
- Stories: 40299
CHAPTER 29 UP! Follow Em through her ups and downs- I give you college, alcohol, trouble and a bunch...
Ever since the day her uncle raped her, McKayla's life has change completely. Barely even in her mid...
While Goten, Gohan and Trunks were forced to train with Vegeta in the Gravity Chamber, Pan was left ...
In: Dragon Ball Z
They give her a new lease of life, now she owes them
Where do you want to go to? Heaven? Or maybe Hell? Make your choice.