Review for Hamsters in a Cage
(#) Still_Anonymous 2008-01-03 09:08:01 PM
I did have a little trouble understanding exactly what was going on when Shredder encountered the difference. It was a little too much in the rodent world for me to easily visualize.
I also noticed that you started a large proportion of sentences with the word "she." This can be a quite unwieldy when read aloud and is not normally considered good prose. On the other hand, I have seen best-selling authors do this, so I wouldn't worry about it too much. :)
Anyway, I really did enjoy the story. You have renewed my hope that I might, occasionally, keep from clicking away completely disgusted when I'm in the original fiction section.
Sequel to Fer Sure. Shoe-slinging mothers, corruption of a minor, poisoned skittles, and Gerard is m...
- Authors: 653202
- Stories: 39937
Suki is haunted by the desperate screams of the other prisoners that echo through the halls of the B...
Melanie had been trying to catch her horse, Lunar, for hours now, and as soon as Lunar stopped in he...
A magical Patrick/o.c story. There's no doubt Paige is a nerd and her best friend ,Amelia isn't. Tog...
In: Fall Out Boy
After being knocked out by Bender, Hermes rekindles a dream to sing commercial jingles. No Fry and ...
Leela and Amy have a few tricks up their sleeves when residents of a witch ruled planet capture the ...