to be honest I think that this chapter didn't live up to your level of writing from your first two chapter's. I can see the premise behind this chapter and yet it feels like it was rushed somehow. Sort of like you were just trying to get through this little bit of writing so that you could get to the more action packed parts of the story. I feel like the incluesion of Ron and Hermione, while stable chacter's in their own right, it's as if they are just cannon fodder in this segment of the story,to me at least. I still look foward to your next installment of this story....
Author's response
I planned this chapter to end as a cliffhanger. The next update may take some time as there are some plot issues I want to sort out before I post the next chapter.