Hey!
Great to see you out here!
I do have a few suggestions that may prove useful:
1) The spacing between the paragraphs is inconsistent. It looked like you might have accidentally posted a draft with a number of sections missing.
2) Be sure to check your spelling and capitalization. The track & field event is called "hurdles" not "hurtles" for example.
It looks like a great start to a story about your custom character Mercury!
-Wolf