Review for HARRY POTTER AND THE FIRST YEAR (working title only)

HARRY POTTER AND THE FIRST YEAR (working title only)

(#) lantana 2008-02-04

Your story leaves me breathless, so to speak, after only a few paragraphs. Do try to make shorter sentences, please.In spite of the promise your story shows, I'm not quite sure I'll continue reading if I have to strugle through paragrpah-length sentences all the time.