Review for Perfect Blue
Perfect Blue
(#) fyre_byrd 2005-09-21 08:48:04 PM
You write both Wakka and Lulu's dialogue quite well. I can imagine Lulu snapping off most of the lines you've given her in that dry cynical voice.
I really can't see her being so sentimental about the colour of the sky myself, but that is a personal opinion. Her feelings about the matter serve you well to move the conversation on into interesting channels. Lulu's feelings allow you to create an opening for Wakka to nudge her into a better temper.
It's the only way I can see Lulu and Wakka together. His flippancy and naivete counterbalance Lulu's sharp dry wit and let her enjoy a little smile at his antics and mahybe Wakka even manages to make some excellent observations sometimes.
There are a few other little things like when Lulu thinks "ouch" that I just don't quite see her saying, but I'm being picky.
Here's some real nitpicking: "devestated" should be "devastated."
Lulu's final observation is well chosen. It isn't absolute and it isn't a complete admission that she is wrong to think as she does. I like the "maybe" and the "more" in that sentence. She certainly isn't committing to anything with absolutely and she isn't even proposing being "just like" Wakka.
Author\'s Response: One thing I was worried about was Lulu's comments to Wakka in this one, but I'm glad that you thought it worked.And haha yeah, I noticed that spelling error right after I posted the fic, but have since been too lazy to turn around and fix it. Thank you for the wonderful review!
I really can't see her being so sentimental about the colour of the sky myself, but that is a personal opinion. Her feelings about the matter serve you well to move the conversation on into interesting channels. Lulu's feelings allow you to create an opening for Wakka to nudge her into a better temper.
It's the only way I can see Lulu and Wakka together. His flippancy and naivete counterbalance Lulu's sharp dry wit and let her enjoy a little smile at his antics and mahybe Wakka even manages to make some excellent observations sometimes.
There are a few other little things like when Lulu thinks "ouch" that I just don't quite see her saying, but I'm being picky.
Here's some real nitpicking: "devestated" should be "devastated."
Lulu's final observation is well chosen. It isn't absolute and it isn't a complete admission that she is wrong to think as she does. I like the "maybe" and the "more" in that sentence. She certainly isn't committing to anything with absolutely and she isn't even proposing being "just like" Wakka.
Author\'s Response: One thing I was worried about was Lulu's comments to Wakka in this one, but I'm glad that you thought it worked.And haha yeah, I noticed that spelling error right after I posted the fic, but have since been too lazy to turn around and fix it. Thank you for the wonderful review!
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