Review for G. I. Joe - The Shorts
I would recommend changing around the sentence structure here and there. There were a few with a lot of commas that should have been broken down or had clauses in a different place.
Ditto changing around wording. "Giant sewer rats" is a very picturesque phrase, but hearing it over and over again gets old. Break out the thesaurus.
Author\'s Response: To give a little background on the particular challenge this was written for - I was handed two randomly selected characters to work into an interaction. Personally, I don't choose to write in canon all the time. Instead, for this piece, I chose to take their characters to the extreme a bit - give them a bit of Hollywood treatment, if you will.Snow Job was left behind and a POW before. He would have a unique viewpoint on why he would never want to be one again. It does leave a pretty solid emotional trauma on a person, if I was strictly following canon in the comic. In the cartoon, the issue was never addressed with him.As for Lifeline, while I agree that canon in both comic and cartoon portrayed him as a strict pacifist, what would he do to save a life, especially the life of a comrade? Would he take one life to save another? Do you think?Yeah, I got you about the sentence thing. It's a bad habit that I am still trying to break. And, on the subject of thesauruses, where the heck did mine go??? I think my wife pinched it and took it to her office again! (LOL) Let's try the phrase "humongous vermin rodents", shall we?Thanks for the review!
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