(#) Lollipops_n_Gumdrops 2008-04-14 03:36:07 PM
I have a little constructive criticism for you, if you
don't mind. Don't worry, it's pretty good, just make sure to capitalize all of your sentences, and to put periods in where the dialogue ends. Their were only a couple of spelling mistakes at the beginning, but other than that it's good!
I hope you won't take offence
and hate me now, I just like to
help out new writers and such.
^_~ I myself need help a lot of the time.
Good job, though! I can't wait to read the next chapter!
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