Review for Harry Potter and the Chronicles of Time: Part II

Harry Potter and the Chronicles of Time: Part II

(#) melferd 2008-04-15

Your story is intriguing and different. However;
you are affected by others, you both cause and effect others. Please, get some grammar help, beat your beta about the head and shoulders with a copy of the Little, Brown handbook.
It distracts from an otherwise delightful tale.