The main issue I have with what you have written are all the Deux Ex Machina magics you pulled to give Harry the freedom he needs. It's all a bit to convenient.
He doesn't really have to work to get what he needs. It's just dropped into his lap. No challenge what so ever. What's worse it all seems like one big cliche used by "Lazy" writers that want to get to the "good part".
This is not meant as a flame, just constructive critisisme.
FRERARD! Love was sharp; the blood running through his veins, supplying life, yet slicing, ripping, ...
- Authors: 279203
- Stories: 39858
"Because they're going to arrest me for earthbending." And they did, but things didn't go according ...
Jared is on his way almost reluctantly to a premiere, feeling stressed and hesitant to attend he mee...
Frank wants My Chemical Romance back. Of course, storming to Gerard's house in the middle of the nig...
Do you know what it's like to be invisible?
"I’ve got a band. We’ve been lookin’ for a couple of girls to dance on the sides of the stage....
In: Guns n' Roses