The main issue I have with what you have written are all the Deux Ex Machina magics you pulled to give Harry the freedom he needs. It's all a bit to convenient.
He doesn't really have to work to get what he needs. It's just dropped into his lap. No challenge what so ever. What's worse it all seems like one big cliche used by "Lazy" writers that want to get to the "good part".
This is not meant as a flame, just constructive critisisme.
Plans are made and plans are broken. Some plans, however, are manipulated to follow a chosen path. [...
- Authors: 608804
- Stories: 40301
New assistant and new co-worker hired at Gerard's job but he finds them both incredibly attractive.
portable stage manufacturer
In: Linkin Park
In: Death Note
In: Fall Out Boy