Review for As Time Passes by

As Time Passes by

(#) MarkPoa 2008-05-21 08:54:07 AM

I understand it's freeverse, so I'll comment more on the imagery. Good imagery overall, though you could still use some work on the figures of speech you've used. One in particular "As it beats upon the earth, a heater, a street-lamp." does not fit the poem, since up until then and until the end, you've used natural images (basically images that can be found in nature), then injected a technological or manmade imagery. It's a bit jarring.

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