That was damn funny. Its almost a shame that it is a one shot, but its probably for the best. Having said that, a few more pick-up lines would have been fun. There is a part of me that would also like to imagine the interaction if Luna came in and he tried to chase her off with pick-up lines.
In the end though, there just aren't enough Harry and Susan stories, or for that matter there aren't enough Harry/PuffGirl stories in general.
Author's response
- I considered using Luna, but I couldn't come up with a sleezy line that wouldn't end with her jumping Harry's bones... And I was saving him for the other Bones...