Okay First I would like to say I do like the story it is just on thinking about the story do I notice things that don't sit well with me. I like the Harry harem, I like the smut , Harry in a whore house not liking so much a sex club on some island I could go with but I just see this as wrong.
First walks in on Fleur with another woman and lets the Weasel temper out calling her a whore ... then she breaks up with him and goes to work at a whore house? That really doesn't Track.
Second Were pansy's parents death eaters and are they dead like the rest? Second I really want to know what Harry's reaction is going to be when he finds out that the Whore house he is in is not the magical equivalent to muggle sex clubs in the Caribbean but somewhere girls are sold into slavery and raped. Sorry that is what is happening to Pansy. Eloise says Sorry but there were compulsions on the letter. So you are saying a Letter with compulsions made it through from what you described to me as Major wards that just doesn't fly with me. Personally I Hope Harry Kills the Bitch. Eloise has had one or two girls sent to her and raped a year and she has been the madam since James , Remus and Sirius had been 17? So that 20 something years? So between 20 and 40 women have been sent to her and raped she really really really needs to die. and so do the staff that knew about it and just shrugged.
Third I really hope that when James came of age and went there he wasn't already dating Lily because in cannon I think they were.
Forth The niece of the new minister of magic is selling her body for money in a whore house. I really don't think Madam Bones is going to be minister long or she really did a shitty job of raising Susan.
Im not saying I dont like the story just that parts of it Nag at me big time.
Author's response
Thanks for your feedback, and, while I understand there are things that you don't care for, I appreciate that you took the time to list them.
There's a whole lot of background that I'm trying to work into the story, without have an info dump; but; I'll try to at least address a couple of your concerns.
Fleur working in a brothel, especially after the comment from Bill is a little odd, and I'll have to address that in the story itself, because it's something that Harry would probably ask as well.
Pansy's parents aren't death eaters, although they were sympathizers. And, when Harry finds out what is going on, he is going to blow his top, so don't worry about that. As for the rape issue, it's an extreme situation that Pansy's parents demanded, and, I will be addressing the subject when Harry confronts Eloise a few chapters down the line.
As for Amelia, well, I doubt that the story will last long enough to get into the politics of the situation, but I do see her as being Minister for quite a while.
And, the whole thing about Susan, or any of the girls, working there, as I've tried to mention in the story, it's something that quite a few of the pure-blood witches do, just to sow some wild oats, or for other reasons, and, although it's not discussed in public, there is really no stigma attached to working there. Let's face it, the purebloods think differently from other people GRIN
Again, I hope that you can appreciate my points, and, as for the other items you raise, I'll be addressing them in the story.
red