Review for Love You Always

Love You Always

(#) AylahMS 2008-06-17 04:05:16 PM

This is a very promising line of thought. I was only kind of annoyed 'cause the way you typed it up - periods instead of comas galore, which made reading kind of bunched up and difficult. If you could have it beta'd it would read a lot easier and have a deeper impact, I think. Also, the conversation between Seguchi and Yuki was kinda mangled, I think - didn't go smoothly, is what I mean, basically.

Still, real sweet story. You just need to work on form a bit :)

-- SC

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