OK, I'm reviewing. First off, I think that you're taking too many pages from too many fan fiction books on Marriage Law and Wizarding law. I can understand why you might find it facinating but at the same time this story, at this point is screaming some of the boredom that I've found in Dr. T's diatribe. Don't get me wrong I like the stories but the become long winded and I feel like I should be taking notes at some point because I will be tested on it later.
That being said, this is what I'm finding. Why exactly would Harry want Daphne at this point? She's fairly weak-willed. She seemed interesting initially, but at the same time, getting past that and going back to the original pictures which accompanied the marriage contract, well, she always has been in this story.
So, what does she bring to the table? Harry isn't what she thought he was but at the same time she's the constant pseudo-snarky girl in distress.
It's fairly easy to see that Harry is going to have signed the marriage contract and it will be presented at the Wizemgamot, problem solved and Daphne is now with Harry, but at the same time Harry, being the noble man he is will not do anything to her father. You will put it into her hands to destroy her father or something similar; if not immediately, eventually
The other disappointing thing was that you, for a moment, were playing Harry up to the Grangers and they seemed to hope that Harry would end up with Hermione. Who knows, you may turn this into a bigamy situation, but yoy made Justin somewhat likable. To many multi-pairing stories out there. I'm guilty of that crime as well.
I do hope that you update soon so that I can see how close I am to the mark.
Geovanni Luciano
Author's response
- Actually I got my marriage contract notions from actual honest to god British marriage contracts from the 17 and 18 hundreds, many including what I cleaned up and presented as "Clause 9". The originals required the woman to be pregnant before the marriage could take place (ensuring 'she' wasn't barren), working from the theory that a society that allows such things wouldn't blink when they are barbarically used.
- I'm not sure where you got Daphne being weak willed from, nor the idea that she was constantly in distress. She fought against her father's contract to the Romanian as best she could, but in the end she is a child of her culture and would react accordingly.
- What does she bring to the table? I don't know, what does anyone bring to the table? The heart wants what the heart wants, and it doesn't always make the 'best' decisions...
- A lot of people seem to think that Harry could just stroll into the Wizengamot chambers and sign the now 5 month old contract and it would supersede the new one already agreed to by the Elder Greengrass and the Romanian...
- Daphne will not be 'dealing' with her father.
- The Grangers like Harry, and didn't like Ron. Martin was joking with Eve when he said that if Justin turned out to be as condescending as Ron he would force Hermione to date Harry. My own daughter has a friend who comes around occasionally, and I really like the kid, unlike the walking puddles of pond scum that she actually dates. I would much prefer she date her friend... Of course if they were to actually start dating I probably would learn to not like him... With Justin, I was looking for someone who would be a better match for Hermione.