Review for We'll Be Back
It looks like you've been working on this, but try a spellchecker -- "colour bone" --> "collar bone," and I think a spellchecker will catch the rest. Tip: spellcheck your story description too, because it's your one chance to attract readers. If people see mistakes in the summary, they'll assume the story itself isn't very well-written either, and may skip it. Good luck!
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