Hey there Neve,
I love how you write all the characters Even the littlest things like the rest leaving Mikey to hopefully help his brother. When Ray got his album he was so thankful and I could picture that. How excited was Gee to get the Misfits album, it was just so cute.
I love how in the story you have this nice little side story with Gee and Eliza. The great thing about it is that's what it is a side story. I've read storied and the side story takes over the main story and you're like what happened to the main characters. And it happens so much to Bob stories, all of the sudden they become Gee stories. Bob becomes window dressing. These two characters are at the forefront and are what is drving the story. I love it.
Now the story itself.
I love the interaction between Frank and Bob in the car it's too funny and I can totally see it happening, poor Mikey stuck between their antics.
Poor Gee having to talk on the phone with Eliza for over an hour and it sounded heated.
What can I say about the hotel scene between Bob and Jill, it was exciting to see them getting closer.
Poor Bob though, but it so fits in as to what is going on and the pace of their relationship. It was sweet how he didn't want to take advantage of the situation knowing that she had a tough day.
My only complaint is that it was too short!! I could spend hours reading this story.
I'm only kidding the length was great and as always a great and sweet ending.
Looking forward to the next update.
Author's response
Moonshyne - thank you so much for your amazing review and for taking the time to write it.
Did you notice i kinda never mentioned the album Ray got? For the life of me i couldn't think of one he would love - how bad is that? I was going to research it and i forgot - shame on me.
Thank you for the side story bit. This is definately a Bob story and will focus on him as the main character (Yeah go Bob) but the others are key to it. It will at times focus on events with other characters but it will be from the point of view of either Jill or Bob. I kinda know where i want to go but it depends if people still enjoy the story.
Yippee - i really enjoyed writing the car scene and Bob practically snapping Frank in two. I agree - poor Mikey he he.
The Gee and Eliza relationship is important to the story and Jamia will also come into it. No Frank without his Jamia :) Also Justin and Ruth.
I know, i know this was a really short update, well in relation to my usual ones. Thank you again, it really means alot and i love your reviews. :)