I personally think you have a good idea for a story here, it has potential to develop and go interesting places. That being said I’m struggling to read it, the story feels very young, the conversations between characters comes across as forced and every now and then the plot becomes unbelievable.
Please don’t give up or take this as a negative. Everyone’s writing changes as they get older and gain more experience. I’ve personally gone back to some stories I wrote and cringed then re-wrote them to my current standards!
Use it as a learning experience and maybe re-view back to see where you can pad out the plot, and make the characters interaction become more natural.