Review for Harry Potter and The Invincible Technomage

Harry Potter and The Invincible Technomage

(#) Vanir 2008-12-03

I do agree with erik above. It feels like you only got halfway. That's it for the downside. This week's special was the conversation between the boys. I just love this pseudo-adult way of speaking that you have given Harry, and the frank openness between them was brilliant. It added a dimension to both characters, and Harry became a lot less über, and their advancing age was stressed brilliantly. Harry needs to horse around more about , well, nonsense i think. It adds flavour, and you do it very well.



Oh, and do bad things to Ginny. You can't abuse a character if no character is present. You're more than a little sneaky about her. I like.

Author's response

- For this story I'm aiming at 5-6k words per chapter, and trying not to have the flashbacks outweigh the 'present' of the story. Dumbles gets yelled at next time, and Harry gets his first visit with Cassandra Webb...

- Harry needs a buddy to pal around with. For this story Ron wouldn't work, and none of the male 'claws do anything for me, Neville makes the best choice as a school year counter point to Franklyn Richards. The two of them have so much in common given how they came to be with their current families. And their friendship allows me to have a non-magical non-Voldemort adventure the summer after 2nd year...

- I also wanted to put in story my reasons for Harry Stark not to be worshiping at the altar of Lily and James like canon Harry Potter did.