"Valon is a packaged deal wrapped in playful sugar and thuggish musk."
That was the best line in the entire story, in my opinion. The way you worded that was simply marvelous. I liked this pairing also, since it was original, and you pulled it off well. You've done a very good job, and your writing is descriptive, and I especially like the metaphors you use. Great work, and I hope to read more from you soon.
If it isn't too much trouble for you, please read our story, and let us know what you think. Thanks a lot, and this was a great story to read!