Review for Crap-tacular rough draft for DLP people to laugh at.

Crap-tacular rough draft for DLP people to laugh at.

(#) siaru 2009-01-25 04:56:37 PM

No I won't ignore it, because it's interesting.

That hit on LV was awfully easy. LV was amped up for battle, and had a number self-improvement rituals under his belt -- I would have expected either more Shock & Awe or a more protracted battle.

I don't see Evil yet. Dark != Evil just as Light != Good (APWBD, case in point).

Those DE's are going to expect a Purebloods-uber-alles leader, else they'll rebel/betray. Is that where the Evil comes in?

No ninja editing here. Did you think of LV as Orochimaru by mistake at some point?

Keep 'er comin'.

Author's response

You're not the first to notice this, and I probably could have done it better. I might come back and re-write it this summer, since I'll have time. He did, however, have the high ground, surprise, and about forty years of experience on him.

That's kinda the point. I'm trying to challenge the definition of "dark."

The DE's are supposed to fear Harry and then get caught up in his charisma. That happens irl, so I thought it could happen in the HP universe, especially since people there seem to be sheep.

Harry later on (I've never continued posting here because I forgot about my account and there are about three reviews that seem to have come out of the wood work today) goes out of his way to reward good service and added a compulsion to his mark anyway.

I don't watch or read Naruto, so Orochimaru means pretty much nothing to me and ninja editing ain't my style.

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