Review for The shortest Severitus story ever
The shortest Severitus story ever
(#) Ithilwen 2005-11-27 03:16:41 PM
What the... Forgive me; I'm not quite a member of HP fandom. I suppose "Independant!Harry" means "Harry inexplicably hates Dumbledore for 'manipulating' him and resents him without mitigation from the closeness and trust that they once shared"? If not, then a heads-up might be nice.
Hm... The ending could be stronger. Perhaps if Dumbledore's tracker were a bit more like Mrs. Weasley's clock, and we got a more vivid message than a "large amount of pain." Perhaps something like, "being squished by Gringotts vault," or "being squished into lunch for Gringotts Goblin Cafeteria." Heh heh.
NITS:
One turns over a "new leaf," but one gets a "new lease" on life.
Did Lily "confine with" Dumbledore or "confide in" him?
Hm... The ending could be stronger. Perhaps if Dumbledore's tracker were a bit more like Mrs. Weasley's clock, and we got a more vivid message than a "large amount of pain." Perhaps something like, "being squished by Gringotts vault," or "being squished into lunch for Gringotts Goblin Cafeteria." Heh heh.
NITS:
One turns over a "new leaf," but one gets a "new lease" on life.
Did Lily "confine with" Dumbledore or "confide in" him?
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