This story has a great plot but its really non descriptive.
It`s like, Oh I saw Gerard Way over there. It doesn`t show much emotion or how she feels.
And like most have pointed out the literacy is very bad.
Here are some ideas;
- Get someone to read over it and edit the spelling errors.
- Describe how you would feel if that happened or what Kimmy was thinking.
But I love it, I really do. I`m just trying to help :)
Love it :D