Review for back in time

back in time

(#) prettychemical 2009-02-16 11:39:07 PM

:) Hello.

This story has a great plot but its really non descriptive.

It`s like, Oh I saw Gerard Way over there. It doesn`t show much emotion or how she feels.

And like most have pointed out the literacy is very bad.

Here are some ideas;
- Get someone to read over it and edit the spelling errors.
- Describe how you would feel if that happened or what Kimmy was thinking.

But I love it, I really do. I`m just trying to help :)

Love it :D

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