This was well-written with wonderful description and all the proper mechanics of writing. It would be interesting to know more about what actually brought about the dramatic break-up between Yuffie and Vincent. (I wasn't sure it was even them until I read the notes at the end.)
I have to admit, this seemed more like an original fic than a fanfic. I think part of it was the red convertible. It seemed highly OOC. (As an aside, I just saw an FMV in the Shin-ra building for their new 'Motor Mobile' model s-510. I confess, it made me giggle a bit.)
While the fic was high in drama, it would have been nice to be able to relate it back to the actual characters in FFVII more. I was left feeling somewhat 'flat' by not knowing why this happened. I usually like to empathize with at least one character. In order to empathasize, I need to understand more.
However, if you wanted to take this the route of original fic, you would have a great start. You obviously have a great grasp on writing. It read easy, with good description, and it shows you took great care with it. Good luck with your writing!