Well, I commented above when this story first came out, so let me now address various mis-spellings that disturb the flow of reading:
"...on you part." should be "...on your part."
"...Harry, he does not use Harold. I am not sure what his proper name. Is..." reads better as "...Harry, he does not use Harold and I am not sure what is his proper name, is..."
"...Sandhurst, Britannia premier military academy." needs an apostrophe and s - "...Sandhurst, Britannia's premier military academy."
A repeat here, it's "Harold Jamison Evans Potter", not "Harold Jamison Even Potter"
“That was a simply will, can anyone challenge the will? How will this affect your management of the Potter accounts, assuming you willing to that is.” scans badly; try “That was a simply will, can anyone challenge the will? How will this affect your management of the Potter accounts? Assuming you willing to that is.”