(#) BenRG 2009-08-14
Meh, it wasn't bad. There should really be a "+0 - Mostly Harmless" rating option on this site.
The big problem with this story was the ending. The prolonged exposition by the ghosts was the wrong way to do this. It would have been better for it to come out through post-war investigations by other powers who end up picking up the pieces (Britain's government and economy being in tatters thanks to the Goblins withdrawing most financial serivces and suffering a population crisis thanks to the systematic marginalisations of muggleborns and half-bloods).
That said, the start of this story was good, as was the battle. The idea of a 'hopped up to self destruct' Harry has been done before but it is always memorable.
Overall, the good outweighs the bad. However, that ending... Gosh, it really does make it hard to push on to the end of the story.
BenRG's Rating: 6.5/10
This one was difficult to write, and understand, I wrote it back in 2005. At that time, most of what is now considered 'ciche`' was fresh.
The ending was actually the whole point of the story. Harry's trial and incarceration were merely the means I used to arrive at that point.
While the last part was a bit pedantic, I had to bring it to an end in a manner that would make Dumbledore and Fudge both look like a couple of complete jackasses, while eliminating the majority of the pureblood power-bloc, and at the same time force the wizarding world to begin to think for themselves.
In addition, Harry's most public suicide, and the immediate aftermath, would ensure that neither Dumblemort not Fudgie, could wriggle their way out of their disgrace.
Although, this one is done, I may consider your suggestion as applied to canon. After all, the end result was the same, but the methods were different. While Rowling marginalized the aftermath, with the exception of her hideous idea of an epilogue, I'd imagine the WW's economy took a sharp downturn. Maybe I can make the Weasleys into the saviors, allowing them to 'enhance' the economy until it can take off on it's own.
As for the 'hopped up Harry', I've never read anything like that, so to me it isn't cliche`. Also, I had to find a defensible method to bring him from being nearly unable to move, to the point of being able to dance for two or more hours. the only solution that came to mind was 'freelance pharmaceuticals'. Better living through chemicals, indeed.
Thank you for your thoughtful review.