Review for Broken Angel
Broken Angel
(#) ShadingInGrey 2005-05-16 12:04:59 PM
This is a very strong poem tackling a difficult subject. I think you made a good use of rhythm, and I love 'kiss the sky'.
I think, if you want a suggestion, some of this could be developed a bit more so it's stronger, eg., 'I won't let you believe in lies.'
However, this is a great piece!
I think, if you want a suggestion, some of this could be developed a bit more so it's stronger, eg., 'I won't let you believe in lies.'
However, this is a great piece!
Author's response
thank you, tania. ><
i appreciate that you took the time to read and suggest. but when i write and finish a poem, i hardly change it after. i guess i want to look back on it sometime and see how my writing style changed, you know. but thanks for reviewing. it means a lot to me. ^^
i appreciate that you took the time to read and suggest. but when i write and finish a poem, i hardly change it after. i guess i want to look back on it sometime and see how my writing style changed, you know. but thanks for reviewing. it means a lot to me. ^^
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