Review for Harry Potter and the Chance Meeting

Harry Potter and the Chance Meeting

(#) daled73 2009-09-21 04:21:47 PM

One small quibble, about a missing comma...

Tracey pulled his trousers down straddled him,

If she was already straddled of him, pulling his trousers down would be VERY difficult. However...

Tracey pulled his trousers down, straddled him, and brought her lips

you see the separate actions, separated by commas.

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