I've read up to Chapter Two (as that's all there is to read at the moment) and your story definitely has potential. The plot is new to me, which is a major plus, but the characters and setting are unclear. What do Anali, Serepathia and John look like? I haven't a clue other than that Serepathia is very beautiful, but how is she beautiful? We don't need a whole paragraph, but one or two sentences saying how she is beautiful would be helpful. I'm also looking for a description of the setting. I am not getting any strong settings so far.
All in all, I'm looking forward to reading more of this story. :)