"humanely kill livestock before slaughter" this is a silly redunancy. :) Try "Humanely slaughter livestock"
IF Winky is in the household why have you had Harry impose upon and pay friends to watch the kids?
The end was genuinely sweet. And now the suggestion I made earlier doesn't work...How about shifting this to mid school year where is would be more convenient to allow her to finish the school year. what with the ease of wizarding transportation. That way he still gets to rescue her.