For my first time reading through this I think that the story is over all good. There are a couple of things that I don't under stand as to why you added them to your story cause to me they seem as a filler. Also i was expecting more of Tonks throughout the story. You did have some grammar errors however none of them distracted from the story. I think that "End Of Part I" was very well thought out. Hope to see more on this .
Author's response
Thank you! Reading through to the end is a better compliment than most things you can say. :)
If you get this response / don't mind my asking, which bits didn't seem like they were contributing? (As the author, of course, I'm biased, and think I had a reason for everything.)
As to the errors -- yeah, I've found some weird editing problems while copying this over to another site. Sorry about that. They will get fixed over time, slowly, as I reread things!