Not really a bad story, but it could use some work, and you really should think about making your chapters a LOT longer. You could merge all 3 chapters together and make them one instead. Would be more fun to read.
I tried playing Overlord 2 last year, but it was just too childish for me to really like. Never bothered with the first one, either.
Author's response
I know the chapters are ridiculously short, but I have had almost no free time lately to write and figured it'd be better to keep people interested by regular updates than have months between updates. In what way could it use work?