hey i have got hated on my poem before then again it was crap lol so i kind of know how you feel, i think my days of poems are over lol anyway i do think you could do with some help on your story. Furally proof read (check over) your work and check for errors, and try to allow the reader to understand the plot and whats going on. It also would help if you could delve into more detail aswell. btw i didnt have any clue what this story was about so it really would help if you made clear what was happeneing. If writing is what you want to do, do it, get some tips and try and write in a book show others if you can to get a sence of where your story is going, and if it is actually good.
On the bright sight the summary was short but very intreeging (think thats spelt wrong lol)
and i liked the idea of gerard changing, sounds very good just try and put more effort into this if you can
but yeah i hope this helps, i'm not an expert but i could spot your mistakes, dont give up just because of haters, carry on :)
good luck
chazom
xx
Author's response
I never really have people to show my work to so sometimes I think I forgot that not everyone knows wht's going on. And my current officewriter thing that i write stories in has no proofread yoke and I can bearly spell but I'll try my bestest to improve!
Thank you for the advice Xx