(#) IWCT 2006-02-12
Fun start. Not much to comment on, but that's the way with most first chapters.
I like how you get right to the point, but I think you lack a little in describing the setting. Still a very fun read, and since this seems to be a more action/plot based story it doesn't matter that much.
I like the appearance of Tracy (not many fans like him, and he gets excluded quite a lot). I'm personally fond of him, if only for being the most mature character in the anime.
I like you characterization of you trainer. Josie seems a very cheerful girl, and I liked the idea about her being the daughter of the general store owner. I don't think anyone's ever had an idea like that. I hope that your pokemon ends up being as three-dimensional as that. Some authors don't bother to give the pokemon personalities.
I love OT fics, so I'm glad to have finally found one on here (if this has been up for a long time I've probably accidentally skipped over it before. Sorry -.-').
How close to the game is this going to be? Are you going to add in new gyms or anything? I always enjoy seeing fanfics that explore the world a little more.
Ten kudos to start out with, and more to come if I like the other chapters, which I'm pretty sure I will.