Hi there! First of all:
Do NOT stop writing this one! Pretty, pretty please, because it's really interesting so far, and sounds like it's gonna be awesome!
So yeah, I'm not very good at critiquing, just wanted to say that you have a bit of a fan here. :)
So keep writing!
-PrettyOddOwl
Author's response
I'm planning on stopping, I'll do at least 3 chapters and see where I end up ;D