Review for Fate's Cruel if Life's Great

Fate's Cruel if Life's Great

(#) tortillachip 2011-11-25 04:01:23 PM

You confuse me sometimes. I have no clue as to why someone would think this is suckish. I'm doing better now. My nose isn't really stuffy anymore, and my throat doesn't hurt anymore, but it kinda feels like there are pieces of sand stuck in there and the only way to get it out is by clearing my throat. Anyway, this is just wonderful. I don't think this is rushed, but it just seems that you didn't want to drag it out in fear of it seeming boring, though I happen to think that this could never be boring. Also, it just seems like you didn't want to develop on every little detail. I think this was a good way to go, but I'm 110% sure that whatever way this came out I'd still like it. It was good to see Frank and Gerard able to at least have a laugh, even though Mikey was hurt. It's kinda funny that when Frank complimented Gerard's laugh it ruined the moment, but led up to the next moment with the kiss. I liked that scene a lot. It's that sort of reassuring moment where one thinks "Everything's gonna be okay again" but then they hear Mikey's cry and know that that's not really the case. Not the full case anyway. Sure they now have someone that can help them, but that's not going to change the fact that Mikey's hurt and in need of a friend. That's how I interpreted
it anyway. I really like that paragraph when Frank and Gerard were kissing. " I open my eyes to see that his are shut; lost to the sea of bliss that I am drowning in. No, not drowning. Immersed in; like an angel is immersed in light or a demon is immersed in fire. Both seem to fit this situation." This was very clever and well written and you get a sense of the passion and beauty of it all. But then they hear Mikey scream, and it's like they are drowning, but in fear and worry. Well, this is, as always, well written and beautiful. There is not a bad thing that can be said about this.

Author's response

I'm glad that you're doing better; I wish you a full and speedy recovery.

Thank you very much for reviewing, I found it extremely interesting and helpful! I was kind of worried that the events (the light, kinda jovial ones) of the chapter wouldn't fit right because of the nature and content of the past chapters, but I'm happy (and relieved) that you liked it and understood it. I've never kissed anyone before so I was worried that I'd gotten it wrong, but your review has reassured me that I didn't do too badly, so thanks!

This was the chapter that I dreaded writing the most, I don't know why (perhaps because of the kiss?), but I am extremely pleased that you liked it! I completely get what you're saying about it seems that I was scared of dragging it out; I was, which is why I thought that it might come across as rushed. So I hope that it didn't.

Your interpritation of this chapter is spot-on to what I was thinking; this whole it's kind-of-alright-now-because-there-are-three-of-us-instead-of-two-and-wuhey-I-love-you, but then Mikey's scream sorta shatters that like woah-actually-we've-got-a-lot-of-work-to-do-and-it's-not-really-all-alright. Wow. I think I just confused myself with that. :/

I tried to do something different with this chapter, something to make the reader smile and break up the seriousness of the story's previous chapters (and it's oncoming ones). I'm normally the sort of writer who doesn't really deal in humorous (if it can be called that) moments and I wasn't really sure if they worked or were just stupid, so I find it very reassuring and motivating that you liked this chapter!

I better wrap this up before this response becomes a million-word epic, so thank you very much for taking the time to leave such a detailed review! As always. It means a lot. THANK YOU!!! :)

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