Review for Chronique of Rebirth
(#) Bitter-Irony 2006-10-18 02:01:08 PM
There were a few grammar errors, mostly lack of coma. "That's my question[,] too", etc.
Another thing I noticed was a seeming logical falicy. "Then he showed me up two of his "hands", I bowed my head on the side, for an unknown reason." If the character doesn't know what "hands" are, how does he know what a "head" is? How does he know what "sky" and "man" and "wet" are?
Nice cliff-hanger at the end!
Keep up the good work, Arisu-Chan!
"It's all fallen to hell." Feedback hugely appreciated.
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