This viewpoint character is excellent--the reader sympathizes with her immediately. Most of your exposition fit in naturally (the second paragrpah squeeze a little bit), and the interactions between your characters were excellent. You missed a few comas, mostly in dialouge. Ex: "What's wrong[,] my friend?" Other than that, I didn't catch any grammar errors.
Keep up the good work!
Thank you. I'm glad you enjoyed it. I'll try and fix the errors you pionted out.