Review for Fate's Cruel if Life's Great

Fate's Cruel if Life's Great

(#) tortillachip 2011-12-15 12:51:36 PM

That was...INCREDIBLE!!! I don't even know how to explain it, which is because you have blown out my last remaining brain cells with how great your writing is. The ending was perfect, I'm a bit puzzled over how anyone can think it was bad. I like how Frank is saying it was his fault. Admittedly, it kinda sorta was because he knew Mikey had issues and he still kissed him and he didn't even run after him. He knew Mikey wanted to die. It all adds up and Frank shouldn't seen it. Should've gone after him but it was too late. Every line in that part is so well written. It's like he's haunted because of them. It's his fault Mikey's in the hospital. If he hadn't kissed Mikey he wouldn't have ran off. Even if Mikey did run off Frank had the chance to run after him, but he didn't. Seriously, every single line in that part is so well written and is said well. I've read stories where the author is trying to explain something and just confuses me further. I've noticed that you do this very well and you do it in a way that makes me think that I, not Frank, am the one that hurt Mikey. That made him run out in front of the bus. Also, the note was so sad. It wasn't written in a way where Mikey was like,"I'm ending my life because I hate myself and my stutter is bad and everyone laughs at me because of it." You make him do it in a way that clearly shows just how mug he hates himself and not just because people hate him. I think that was such a smart way to go. Even if you were to do it the way I said before, I am positive that it would've been written beautifully because you ate the author and your writing is beautiful, but this way just seems better. And also, that note was out of nowhere for Gerard. Mikey was doing so well just this morning and then he sees this note and is probably wondering what changed from then to now. Of course he is shocked because Mikey was doing so well, of course it was obvious that his insecurities were still there, but he was getting better. Gerard is sad too. Mikey doesn't deserve this. He's so loving and caring and sweet and he'll do anything to make people happy. How could this happen? Mikey is such a good kid, but good things never happen to him, but they happen to terrible people. Maybe good things only happen to people who know where they belong. Who have confidence and believe that they do deserve good things. And also, when Frank is at the hospital it seems like he doesn't deserve to cry like Gerard did after he read the note. He was the one that hurt , why does he have the right to cry because Mikey is hurt? Anyway, I really wonder what's going to happen next. I want to see what Mikey does when he wakes up and sees Frank. I read the last part when Frank heard Mikey make a noise, but I hope he wakes up in the next chapter. I also hope Gerard doesn't do domething bad like call Mikey stupid or something for the note. That would make me cry. Well, fantastic job. I loved this chapter and I live this story.

Author's response

Thank you very much; I'm so soooo glad/pleased/happy/overjoyed that you liked it! I'm relieved that you thought the ending was okay, I was worried that it may have come across as rushed.
Your interpretation is spot on; I was trying to get across how guilty Frank feels because he did have the chance to stop him, did kinda give him that final push. I'm relieved that you didn't think that it was confusing; that was my big worry with this chapter (well, with the majority of the chapters.).
I wasn't too sure about the note and I'm pleased that you thought it came across alright as that was something I really wanted to do well with in this chapter. I really wanted it to make people (both characters within the story and real-life readers) just stop and think; wow, this kid's in a really dark, really desperately desolate place mentally right now, he really needs his friends to pull him through. It's very nice of you to say that you thought that it was written well; thank you very much!
Yeah, the note did come out of the blue for Gerard as an extremely nasty shock, even nastier after he thought that his little brother was doing better with his help.
I know that my responses probably always sound the same; but I really do mean it when I say 'thank you', I really am truly grateful for you taking the time to leave such lovely, detailed reviews; they help me to move forwards with my writing.
Thank you very, very much or taking the time to leave such a detailed, kind review; you've made me smile! :)

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