Not great with dialogue??? I think your dialogue is very well done, not just in this, but whenever you write scenes with dialogue. I think the dialogue at the end of this worked especially well because it was straight to the point, no messing around. Mikey always has such little confidence and his note showed that, so I think the dialogue showed that when Frank read it he got straight to the point so Mikey wouldn't feel worse about himself or something. I don't mean that in a bad way, I mean that in a good way. The dialogue was a good fit for the events at the end. I also didn't think it was rushed at all. I know I say this sometimes, but I mean it. I really do not know how the ending could be called rushed. It didn't make me go "What????? That's it????" It made me go "This was so good. Now I'm gonna read it again!" Anyway, I thought this idea was really interesting. You have a sense of creativity that I can only wish to have, and you execute your ideas really well. It amazes me. All your ideas are so different than anything I've seen before and it's a huge let down if someone has a good idea that is poorly delivered, but it's really amazing (and rare) to find an author like you that has great ideas and the skill to put those ideas to work. The notes show that Mikey goes through a lot, and that Frank and Gerard play such a huge role in his life, but it also shows how insecure he is and how much he doubts himself. The notes don't seem to help him to the point where he never feels those things again, I don't really think any amount of writing could, and then Frank reads the note and they confess their love, and Frank is probably the thing that could do that. "I think I need to buy myself a diary because I don’t feel so pointless anymore. I feel loved. Loved by Frank Iero. " I really liked this line. If all those notes didn't show how he felt about Frank, this definitely did. Mikey probably doesn't even need to buy a diary because he could tell Frank all about his feelings and all. Anyway, I really like this. It was so well written and it was very original. I wish I could be as great an author as you are. Wonderful job.
Author's response
Thank you very much; I'm so pleased that you think my dialogue is alright. I just get so distracted by focusing on other parts of the story (i.e. emotions, which I also kinda suck at) and then I kinda forget about doing decent dialogue, but it's still really nice to know that you think that the dialogue in this worked well; it's really encouraging to hear that sort of thing!
I get what you mean about Frank being straight to the point at the end; kind of like he wanted to make it perfectly clear to Mikey what he thought/felt? That's how I wanted it to come across as, so I hope that it did.
I'm really happy that you liked the idea behind it. In all fairness, the idea wasn't all that original; I based the whole 'anti-suicide note' thing on real life. It's my little thing that I do whenever I feel really low, apart from I never truly intend to give them proper use, and it really does make me feel better. I've been wanting to write something around the whole note concept for a while now, it was just finding the time and getting my thoughts together on it; I was worried that it was a stupid idea, so it's really uplifting to hear that you think I did it alright.
I wanted the notes to serve as a way to show what Mikey goes through and how the actions of others (mainly Gerard and Frank) effect him. I wanted to use them to convey to the reader how he feels about himself and how insecure he is. So I'm glad that came across.
I am, by no stretch of the imagination, a great author. You very well could be if the standard of your reviews are anything to go by and I'd love to read something by you; I bet that it'd be fantastic!
Thank you very much for taking the time to review! :)