Review for Every Night
Every Night
(#) TheIntrovert 2012-01-27 10:02:18 PM
I do quite like this! A few grammatical errors, but hey, I make them all the time. The beginning fell a little flat, though by mid-story I was loving some phrases you came out with.
"And I can't help but feel its so stupid, it's so useless and I don't understand why it happens. Do people really take pleasure in destroying another? Do they feel in control when they use their hate to kill another? Is it a compulsion? A dirty, vile compulsion that people need to be jailed for?
Why are humans so awful? Why are we all filled with hate, with undesirable rage and the capabilities of being so cruel?"
Very nice descriptions of the animalistic desires we all experience.
"And I can't help but feel its so stupid, it's so useless and I don't understand why it happens. Do people really take pleasure in destroying another? Do they feel in control when they use their hate to kill another? Is it a compulsion? A dirty, vile compulsion that people need to be jailed for?
Why are humans so awful? Why are we all filled with hate, with undesirable rage and the capabilities of being so cruel?"
Very nice descriptions of the animalistic desires we all experience.
Author's response
Aww thanks! I wrote this on my phone at 3 am, as a rough draft so I'm proud it turned out so well! I do have to agree my openings need work, but eventually I'll get there and be a better writer! (I've been writing since October, but I'm really still a toddler in the writing world, if not an infant)
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