Look, I don't even know you, but I don't want you to do something that you'll regret like I almost did. I know what you're going through. I lost my mother 3 years ago to cancer. I know, it's hard...but would your sister really want this for you? Wouldn't she want you to remember her by laughing about all the good times rather than moping? She'd want you to carry on and live the life she never got to, believe me. She's still with you, Phoebe. You may have lost her physically, but she's still with you. I thought about suicide once, almost did it. Then I thought about everyone who I'd hurt. My girlfriend, my parents, my friends. Your family is already broken over Vanessa, please, you don't want to hurt them any more than they already have been. You probably won't listen to me, but please, please...live for Vanessa. She'd want you to.