This is flawless. You write extremely well (although I'm sure you already knew that) and this flowed perfectly, as well as being something that grabbed my attention from the start. It was a very deep piece and I feel as if it spoke about many things (i.e. society, your inner self) as well as Ray. Which is a good thing, because you managed to combine all of the facts impeccably to make an amazing piece of work that you should be extremely proud of.
Love, love, LOVE it! :D
Author's response
Eeeep, thank you so much! I'm glad you think so, and thanks very much for taking the time to review- you made my day! :'D