maybe a little bit of work on the format to make it easier to read. if you have any questions on how to do that, or if you just need some guidance feel free to either contact me through this fantabulous ficwad or I.M. me.
it took me a while to catch on too. damn HTML format.
Anyway, you should write for yourself. it really doesn't matter what people review on here or rate, as long as you (as a writer) are satisfied.
like i said, if you need any help, feel free to drop me a line. and keep the updates coming. i'm interested to see where this story is going...