Holy hell I hope this is a joke! A sick joke is much better than a waste of human life.
If it's not, then I don't know if you'll ever see these. You might have offed yourself for all we know by now.
I'm so sorry for everything that you may feel bad about in your life right now and for all that might have happened. If I was a human shield from pain like Elva in the Eragon books, I would have been right there with you. And I don't even know you.
If you're still alive and the cops have succeeded in stopping you, please don't ever do it again. You're wasting the whole life you have ahead of you. Suicide is a horrible thing.
PLEASE STOP! What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. I firmly believe that. The real triumph is waking up everyday and facing your demons in the face. Building your broken self up and being able to look behind you and see all you've come above.
So please, if you haven't offed yourself already, think of all the good things you mentioned in this letter and find the strength to pick yourself up and fight it.